Exhibit A: The Bidet

In my family's home there are three bathrooms.  One attached to the master bedroom.  One hidden away in the basement that only my brother's dare to use.  And one just off the entryway for everyone else.  Two Christmases ago I went home for Christmas (something I don't do often because it is nothing short of mayhem).  I went in to use the one usable bathroom in the house and this is what greeted me:

Hillbilly bidet

 

 

My father's homemade bidet.  I stood astonished for a moment or two, then decided I could hold it until I got back to the hotel.  I mean, if the president of the United States were to have an emergent need for a toilet and he happened to be in front of my parent's home, this is the bathroom he would be shown to.  Without a doubt.  My husband went in a few minutes later and came out and wordlessly retrieved his phone.  He texted this pic to all his buddies.  Their unanimous query in response is, "what temperature is the water?"  So he asked my brother's who were at that moment deep in a gingerbread train building contest.  They replied in unison, "cold."

 

For anyone interested in making their own bidet, I asked him for directions, this is what I got, instructions for making what he calls a hillbilly bidet:  https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B1O6Q5pL_7cTdzNUVjhSb2hKTDRMVVNWNWF1djBEVXhlNnpF/view?usp=sharing if not entirely helpful it at least adds fuel to my argument.