Exhibit D: The Ear Key

The original purpose of the ear key was to unlock bathroom doors.  In our house (with 3 bathrooms and 10 people) being locked out of the bathroom qualified as an emergency.  So my dad made this key and kept it on his key ring to be readily handy should anyone accidentally lock the bathroom door on their way out (this happened often because they are just those push button locks).  HOWEVER, somehow my dad developed a habit of using it to clean his ears. 
Imagine, if you can, having a fairly normal conversation with a fairly normal looking dude when he casually pulls THIS

ear key

 

out of his pocket and sticks it in his ear.  What would go through your head?  You can see what's going through his head.  I remember thinking maybe he was trying to unlock his brain.  Or turn it on to get it working. 



 I asked an ENT what they would say to a patient who did this.  He said he would advise against it.  He also verified there are no magic locks or brain ignitions in your ear.
If you happen to be at my house and you see this key lying around, try to use it only for it's designated purpose, opening bathrooms.  And whatever you do, don't use it to clean your teeth.