I recently attended a high school reunion. I arrived late. Looking around the room at a hundred or so of my former classmates trying to figure out where to sit, I felt like the new kid in the cafeteria all over again. Insecurities I hadn’t felt in 20 years came rushing back. I am the most extroverted in my introvert family but that’s not saying much; I struggle with small talk and crowds make me anxious.
It’s hard to explain to anyone who isn’t an introvert or who doesn’t have social anxiety what this is like. But I will try. I have to put in a sincere effort to make small talk not awkward. Partly this is because I am blunt. Partly because beyond exchanging pleasantries and talking about the weather I can never think of what to say that won’t be too personal. I also don’t want to be rude. But I most likely don’t care about who did your Botox. Small talk is, by its very nature, superficial and dull. And when things get deeper, introverts get uncomfortable. And when we get nervous we say/do weird things to distract you or get out of the conversation. Weird things like:
“I can fit a whole orange in my mouth.” -me, on a date
Suplex someone -Beadle
“Excuse me, I need to go see if the drinking fountain works.” –me
Play nearby instrument loudly to encourage conversation -Sneet
Burst into spontaneous song. – Nana
Maintain eye contact while picking nose –Pooker
“Excuse me, I need to go feces” –I can’t source this, because I will be murdered, but it happened.
“Do you watch Stargate?” -Sneet
Pass out –Gummy
“Would you like to look at my anime sketches?”-OR Tire
So, if I saw you at the reunion and we had a normal conversation that didn’t end in me putting an orange in my mouth, I really enjoyed talking to you, although I was probably nervous the whole time. My father, alone, does not feel awkward making conversation. His particular skill is making everyone else feel awkward.
Don’t get me wrong, introverts like having friends. It’s just harder for us to let our walls down. It’s the making friends that is hard.
Things we have done to get out of public speaking:
Sprayed self with pepper spray immediately before dissertation. –my mom
Yelled “I hate you!” at husband, hoping to start a fight and miss event –me
When asked, replied "I'd rather drive a toothpick under my nails" -me
Faked injury or illness -everyone
When asked, replied "I'd rather drive a toothpick under my nails" -me
Faked injury or illness -everyone
My parents were also too nervous to yell “Woo hoo! Go Weed!” at my graduation, so they just clapped extra loud.
We also can be alone and not feel lonely. It’s some of my favorite time.
Being an introvert alone isn’t enough to make you weird. But it sure doesn’t hurt.
