The Defendants

As I mentioned before, I have a large family, this helps with weirdness.  The smaller the family the lower the odds of having one quirky one.  When it comes to quirks, I won the jackpot family-wise.   My mother is from a small town in Indiana, she is an only child and her parents were both real 'pillars of the community' types.  She is well educated, has her Masters in piano performance, a doctorate in psychology etc.  How she came to meet and marry my father, a confessed hillbilly who grew up in nowheresville northern Idaho in a log cabin with an actual out house, is anyone's guess.  I think he's still unsure how it happened.  My mother is perhaps the biggest worrier in history, we'll get into that later.  My dad....I could do an entire post on my dad (and I probably will) and still not cover everything.  Together they had six children and adopted two more.  Then stopped...sort of. 

They never called us by our actual names.  We all had nicknames, so, for their privacy, and everyone else's amusement, that's how I will refer to them.  The oldest is adopted, we called her Gummy, she ran away from home a few times and got in trouble a lot.  At least that's my memory of it.  Next is Pooker.  My oldest biological sibling.  He has a skinny neck, large head and ears that stick out.  If there is a pun that might possibly be used, he will use it.  Next is Nana.  For a long time her nickname was Boney, for some reason she decided this was offensive when she was teenager and refused to answer to it.  I cannot fathom why.  Nana is very quirky, although she's also a little less laid back than my other siblings and might never speak to me again if I make fun of her too much.  Chronologically, I come next.  I was always Weed.  No, I'm not an avid pot smoker.  My parents claim it's because I grew like a weed.  I'm 5 foot 2.  So, who knows.  My little sister, Beadle, abhors her name, but she loves me the most, so I will relentlessly make fun of her.  Beadle was the source of a lot of the weird language we used, she has nicknames for everyone and everything.  She is competitive to a fault, but she is smart and funny to make up for it.  Beadle is probably the grayest of the black sheep.  Next is Sneet.  Sneet is funniest because sarcasm and humor are largely lost on him.  He is your typical computer nerd.  He likes fantasy and sci-fi, would gamely dress up for ComiCon.  He probably owns a sword. Next is O.R. Tire.  Don't ask.  I don't know.  O.R. is an artist.  For a long time his drawings reminded me of the liger on Napoleon Dynamite.

But he's gotten much better.  Although how often he showers hasn't.  Muscle Whip (ha ha, I'm just making up nicknames now) is the youngest.  He is also adopted, and we never had a good nick name for him, just his name shortened.  He is athletic, outdoorsy, adventurous, as far as I know has never read sci-fi or fantasy.  Another gray on the sheep scale.  Muscle Whip is Gummy's biological son.  Yeah, wrap your brain around that.