Lessons my Grandad taught me
I moved in with my
grandparents when I was eighteen. I was
a smart-alecky somewhat awkward teenager ready to be on my own. You should know that up until this point I
was a little bit scared of my grandad.
But beneath his somewhat stern exterior he is a sweet, mild tempered man,
who is something of a tease. Luckily for
me, I can give as good as I get when it comes to teasing. I
thought I knew just about everything. And like the cocky teenager I was, I would remind them often how lucky they
were to have such a fantastic granddaughter living with them. It didn't take me too long to realize that I
was the lucky one. Lucky that they loved
me, fed me and worried about me when I stayed out too late. My grandpa even drove around looking for me
when I wasn't home on time. Instead of
asserting my independence by moving out, I had simply traded one set of parents
for another. With love and patience, my
two grandparents set about teaching me the things I needed to know to get along
in the world. I'd like to share a few of
the things I learned from my Grandad with you.
1. How to be a good sport. Every night we would play a game of Mah-jongg
on the computer against each other. It
is a Japanese tile game where you match tiles to remove them from the board
until they are cleared away (meaning you beat it) or you are stuck. It takes a little bit of logic and a little
bit of luck. We would each play the same
board, one after another and write down the number of tiles remaining. It was a lively competition. The first time I beat it I came out of the
room doing a victory dance and chanting that I beat the game. My grandparents hadn't played yet, and my
grandad said something like, "oh well now it's no fun because we have to
go in there knowing we can't beat you."
I smiled smugly and went on dancing all the way to bed. The next night my grandad played first, when
he came out of the room he was hanging his head dejectedly all the way to his
bedroom. I said something very gracious
like, "Ha! It looks like another
win for me." And I went to take my
turn. When I turned the screen on there
was a large banner that read, "Congratulations, Dick Say, you have won the
game!" With fireworks in the
background. Grandad poked his head in
the door and said, "Gotcha!"
2. How to swear like a sailor. One day, not long after I moved in, Grandad
was replacing the patio doors. It was
early in the morning, and I was in the kitchen, he was working on the
patio. Through the window I saw him
carrying a heavy glass door and it slipped and landed right on his foot. From the look on his face it was pretty
painful. I knew he had been in the Navy
and since he didn't know anyone was watching I braced myself for a string of
obscenities. What I heard was this:
"Well what in the sam hill! Dad
gummit!" I teased him for his foul
language for the next 10 years.
3. How to cure common ailments with household
items. Now, he taught me all the typical
remedies for things, like if I had a sore throat he would make me gargle salt
water, or drink a hot mixture of squeezed lemons and honey, which I vastly preferred
to the salt water. And then there were
the more unusual remedies. Like the time
I came home from work to find them watching tv.
Not unusual. I think the show
they were watching was Walker Texas Ranger.
Also not unusual. What was
unusual was that my grandpa was watching it while sitting in his chair with a
brown paper bag over his head. It had
two holes cut out for the eyes. They
were both acting as if this was a perfectly normal way to behave. At first I thought maybe they were playing a
joke on me. But after a few minutes
decided that wasn't it. Finally I said,
while trying to suppress my giggles, "Grandad, what on earth are you
doing?" Slowly, the brown paper bag
turned to look at me. "Laugh all
you like," it said, " this is the only way to cure the
hiccups." So now you know.
4. How to cook.
After a while they decided that I needed to start earning my keep and so
it was determined I would cook dinner once a week. They would gamely try my experiments while I
became more confident in the kitchen. I
don't know how much I improved, but with my grandad's help there were a few
things I perfected. For instance, I can
whip up a batch of lumpy gravy every single time.
5. What to look for in a husband. Now, it was apparent pretty early on that my
grandparents were eager for me to find a husband. I'm not sure if this was because they wanted
me to be genuinely, eternally happy or if they were just trying to get rid of
me, but I think it was probably a little of both. Naturally, a perfect husband is as much like
grandpa as possible. According to my
gramme, he swept her off her feet on their first date because he drove up in a
fancy car wearing his sailor's cap and she thought he was, as she puts it,
"handsome, rich and debonair."
Certainly, at over six foot with dark hair and a contagious smile, my
grandad was handsome. Despite this, I
only heard him comment on his physical appearance twice. Once he came home and sort of strutted into
the room and cleared his throat.
"Notice anything different?" He asked. After intense scrutiny, I was still drawing a
blank. Then he said, "I got my
hairs cut. Both of them." The other was a few years ago when I was out visiting
him he told me the physical therapist had him going to the gym. "See?
I have a muscle." "Just the one?" I teased. "Yep." Not only handsome but a humble man as well. A rare combination. Rich.
To my knowledge my grandad has never been wealthy. But he lived a rich life, full of family,
friends, travel and love. And debonair,
my favorite. No one could argue that my grandpa didn't know how to treat a lady. In
the years I lived with them, I never once heard him raise his voice to my
grandmother. They would often hold
hands, and sometimes steal kisses, although he would always act properly
embarrassed if I walked in the room during a kiss on the cheek. He would exclaim, "oops, she caught
us!" and run back to his chair.
When I came to see him after the heart attack, he held my sweet gramme's
hand, raised his voice and said, "I want you all to know, I love this
woman with all my heart." If that
isn't debonair, then I don't know what is.
Fifty some years later and he was still trying to sweep her off her feet. Handsome, rich and debonair to be sure. With such a high standard set for me it is
little wonder I had a hard time finding someone who would measure up.
6. How to catch a man. As the years passed the situation became more
desperate. I was about to graduate BYU
unmarried. I had received advice from
both my grandparents about what I should do about it. My biggest problem, according to them,
was that I would not stop wearing pajamas in public. My grandad often got after me about it. One day he tried a different tactic. "You know, Marion, you should wear more
skirts," he said. "Why would I
want to do that?" I asked. "Because," he said, "I don't
care how old I get, or how much you think times have changed since I was
young....I know this is still true, a man likes to see a little bit of
leg." As you can imagine, I was
shocked. I turned to my gramme for some
support. “Did you hear that?” I
said. “Sure,” she replied, “I know
it. Why do you think I liked to play
tennis? So I could wear those short
little tennis skirts.” Now I was
downright scandalized. I had no idea she
was such a flirt. I shared this story
with my husband a year or so after we were married. He looked at me and said seriously, "Marion, your grandfather is a wise,
wise man." Despite this sound
advice, I didn't get married or even engaged while I lived with them. Now just because they wanted me married,
didn't mean they approved of every man that came along. And they let me know it when they
didn't. It goes without saying that my
grandad was a little protective of me.
So, naturally, when a strange man called a few months after I moved away
asking for my phone number, my grandad gave it to him without a moment's
hesitation. Luckily for grandad, and for
me, I married that strange man about eight months later. His recklessness with my personal information
has brought me the greatest happiness of my life.
I have been blessed to
have many good men in my life. Men of
strength and kindness, men of service and integrity. Certainly my Grandad, is
one of these good men. I would even say
that he is the best man that I know.
Maybe not the best Mah-jongg player.
But definitely an example to all who knew him of kindness, humility, service
and integrity. I love you Grandad. We love you.
We always will.
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