Exhibit R: Our Fashion Sense

When I look back over the years at the things we have worn, I cringe. It goes beyond living through the eighties.  When I was young my mother, a mediocre seamstress, made most of our clothes. Our clothes had a distinctly home-made look. We also often wore hand-me-downs from friends, neighbors, or each other. I had a brother and sister just older than me, so I inherited their hand-me-downs. I got mocked, often, for wearing boy’s clothing. Most of our clothes were bought second hand. I remember only once shopping with my mother for new clothes. A pair of jeans that she bought in the boy’s department because they were cheaper. A pair of tan Levi’s. But none of these can explain our continuing bizarre way of dressing.

Home made clothes

My Mother’s “Style”: Of course, when she was at work, she would wear mostly normal professional clothes. But, when she’s anywhere else, she prefers comfort over fashion every single time. I’m convinced she would wear flannel pj’s to church if she thought she could get away with it. My mother’s most hated chore is clothes shopping for herself. As a result, she wears each article of clothing until it is thread bare. She couldn’t care less if she matches or fits in as long as she’s comfortable. To test my theory I bought her an awful sweater with a cat

floating in space that she was not only grateful for because she didn’t have to shop for it, but she wears it often because it is comfortable.

Borted Jim Fashion: If there is anyone who cares about fashion less than my mother, it’s my father. On any given day, depending on the activity, I can accurately predict what my father will wear. Camping: cutoff shorts, t-shirt with a wolf, tube socks, sandals and his “boonie” hat. Church: button-up polyester shirt, wolf tie, black tube socks with sandals, cargo pants. Perhaps you are picking up on a theme. I’m convinced my dad begrudgingly wears clothes since they are a construct of society, but does his very best to make sure that being clad is the only way he is conforming.

Sister (I’m not naming names so as to protect their identity) Flair: The remarkable thing about my sister’s fashion sense is that she prefers to wear clothes that are all the same color, it is not unusual for her to be wearing teal from head to toe. Until very recently she wore many of the same clothes that she did in the eighties and early nineties. Then skinny jeans and onesies came back in style, so she gave them away (I'm not entirely sure this is the reason, but her timing was remarkable).  Although, most often, she is in uniform and so her fashion flamboyance is muted.

Brothers’ I-can’t-believe-you-wore-that-anywhere Wardrobe:  One of my brothers got sent home from school for wearing a cloak with a hood. One of them has sported leotards, on multiple occasions. One of them wears tight shirts to show off his muscles, although he is otherwise stylish. The other one is slowly turning into my father. If seen altogether, it's predicted that their fashion opposites would collide to form a singularity. So they try to keep their distance.